Dust in the wind

I’ve just returned from Ash Wednesday services at our Lutheran church here in Singapore.  It’s very humbling to kneel at the altar and have the ashes placed on your forehead as the pastor says “Remember you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”  Brings much-needed perspective in these times.

Ash Wednesday is the beginning of the period of Lent.  Below is a brief summary of Lent that I wrote last year for a chapel service.  I’m still trying to decide what to give up as my sacrifice for the next forty days.  I’ve realized I’m not so keen to bring any discomfort into my life.

Lent (from the Anglo-Saxon word lencten meaning “spring”) is a period of preparation preceding the celebration of the resurrection of Jesus at Easter.  It consists of forty days, beginning on Ash Wednesday, but does not include the intervening six Sundays which are excluded because all Sundays are recognized as mini-Easters.  The Lenten season, observed by prayer and fasting, is a time of repentance, sacrifice, and self-examination.

There is no Apostolic tradition for the season of Lent or for forty days of fasting, although there is a Biblical connection of forty days as a time of preparation (Ex 34:28, I Kings 19:8, Matthew 4:2).  In the early church, every Friday was marked by fasting, and every Sunday by a celebration of the resurrection, a weekly observance of the Easter story.  Believers would fast for forty hours (perhaps symbolic of the time Jesus laid in the tomb) prior to baptism.

As of the late-second century, there appear to be no concrete guidelines for the observance of Lent. Both Irenaeus and Tertullian write of much shorter periods, and both acknowledge the diversity of practices amongst the various churches.  The first mention of forty days is at the time of the Council of Nicea (325 C.E.), and by the end of the fourth century, this period of time was more or less the accepted norm.  Ash Wednesday, a day of penitence and purification, was instituted by Gregory the Great in 604 C.E. as the first day of Lent.

Fasting has been defined in various ways throughout the years. Some rules of fasting called for one small meal per day, usually after sundown.  Small snacks were often allowed throughout the day for those required to do manual labor.  All meat and animal products, including milk, butter, and eggs, were sometimes prohibited, a practice that led to the exchange of eggs at Easter. In the Middle Ages, some restricted items could be consumed by those who made monetary sacrifices to the church; hence, the nickname Butter Tower for the steeple of a medieval church that was constructed with the monies earned from these indulgences.

Today, as we enter this season of Lent, may we set aside time each day to reflect on our shortcomings, our failings, our need for a Saviour. As we realize the hopelessness of the situation if left to our own devices, we prepare our hearts for the tremendous outpouring of grace and forgiveness that God bestows upon us through Jesus.

He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap.
Psalm 113:7

Q and A

“The mission of Socrates was to rid people of the illusion of knowledge.” So writes Terry J. Fadem in The Art of Asking: Ask Better Questions, Get Better Answers.  It’s little wonder then that the folks around Socrates were anxious to be rid of him.  After all, no one wants to be the naked emperor so we weave our robes grandly and disparage the fool who might question our designs.

Fadem’s point is that questions are the tools of the manager.  In the old days (exactly when were those by the way?), promotion often meant that the person was really good at what he did.  He knew all the machines or steps and could supervise the entire process.  He was the answer guy.  In our complex world, it’s well, more complex.  The breadth and width of global departments means that no one can have all the answers.  Managers who think they do are bound for failure.  So it’s questions, not answers, that are a manager’s tools.  Asking the right questions, listening to the answers, and then taking appropriate action are key activities for progress and success.

He identifies three types of questions:

1.  Questions asked because the answer is important
2.  Questions asked because the question is important
3.  Questions asked because the process of asking is important

We are destined to make mistakes, but being aware of a few common errors can help.
Habit questions.  If you are using the same question or type of questions, over and over, your team members will know it and they will expect it.  Meetings run the risk of becoming routine, almost scripted.  Critical issues may be overlooked and creativity stifled.
Positioning and posturing.  This is when the question is all about the asker.  “I only have a Master’s in Economics and a Ph.D. in Finance, so keep it simple.  Why are our numbers off 80% this quarter?” 
Too casual.  Fadem says there is no such thing as a casual question in a professional environment.  If you are in a management role, what you ask will have significance.  Be sure to ask yourself, prior to asking a question of someone else: “where is the business value?” and “is it an abuse of power?”   I once had a superior who failed to ask either of these. Several years ago, new to my position and the organization, I was nervous and excited when, early Monday morning with my boss out on vacation, I received a call from our group’s admin assistant summoning me to the VP’s office.  Cool.  What challenge would I have?  Could I do it?  Notepad and pen at the ready I sat down to get the assignment.  And assignment it was.  “Hey, my kid is working on a paper for a marketing class.  He’s doing a comparative analysis of the greeting card industry.  Can you do a little research and pull something together for him by the end of the week?”  I didn’t know whether to be flattered, indignant, angry, or deflated. 

Never pose a question in anger or to cause harm.  When you ask for someone’s opinion, treat it with respect once it is received.  In other words, be careful what you ask for!  When you ask be curious and patient.  Curious – you are asking because you want to hear what they have to say and their answer matters.  Patient – after you ask, you will listen to their answer.  Sometimes, you may already know the answer.  But you are giving them space and time to work it out for themselves.

When asking questions, you will have different goals and therefore you may take a particular role depending on what outcome you seek.  Here are some of the roles Fadem identifies – think about which hat you are wearing to help you shape your questions.
Interviewer – gain information
Teacher – improve the knowledge of business
Student – learn
Journalist – gather information for the story of what happened
Detective – gather pertinent information
Prosecutor – affix responsibility
Lawyer – examine facts, reasons, motives
Physician – evaluate, find the cause, prevent, treat or cure the problem
Scientist – hypothesize, test, analyze and produce results
Historian – uncover and learn
Auditor – examine and conclude

Getting the question right is the first part.  Hearing and listening to the answer is the second part of the process.  Common listening errors include:
Interrupting.  “What is the outlook for next month’s sales?” Before they have a chance to answer, you throw in another question.  “Did we get that issue revolved with shipping on the Davis account?”  Maybe that was the crux of your question – if so, ask it first.  Or give the other person enough time to get to it.
Ignoring the answer.  You: “Shall we get a cup of coffee?”  Them: “No, thanks, I’m cutting back on the caffeine.”  You: “Cream or sugar?” as you’re putting the coins into the machine.
Acting distracted.  This includes checking your Blackberry while they are answering, flipping through notes, having sidebars with other team members.
Walking away.  Unless you’re in a soap opera, tossing questions out and then turning on your heels isn’t really an effective communication style.

Questions are powerful.  They build bridges, promote trust, and generate solutions when used effectively.  Hypothetical questions are especially powerful.  Consider one of these in place of a directive next time and see what turn the conversation takes.  “What if we decided to centralize the customer service operations?  What challenges and opportunities do you foresee?”  These types of “what if” questions are not threatening and they invite creative thinking.  Compare this to “How would we centralize our customer service operations?” There is a time for “how” questions, but asked too early they can get us bogged down in particulars and lost in specifics.  “Why” questions can also be troublesome.  “Why” often depends on intent and purpose – very subjective. Safer ground is found in objective questions.  For example, compare “Why can’t we meet our 24-hour turnaround commitment? to “What is preventing us from meeting our 24-hour turnaround commitment?”  Subtle, yet significant.   

Fun Weekend

Two big days this weekend.  On Saturday, Charlie and I were guests at the Singapore Gifts Association’s annual New Year’s Luncheon at ParkRoyal on Kitchener.  The festivities kicked off with a traditional lion dance – a pair of red lions, animated by two young boys inside, one rear, one front – danced down the center aisle and onto the stage while another young fellow provided rhythm on a kettle drum.  The lion’s goal is to chase away the evil spirits and the bad luck from the previous year.  Then we tossed our salad.   Yu sheng – translated raw fish – is a salad made of, as its name implies, raw fish (such as salmon), vegetables, and sauce.  Each ingredient has an auspicious meaning – the raw fish is a wish for abundance, the plum sauce a wish for sweetness in life.  After it is assembled in the center of the table, everyone takes their chopsticks and begins to toss while hollering “lo hei” – “lo” means “toss” and “hei” means “to rise.”  So the higher we toss, the greater our fortunes.  Then we ate it.  Pretty tasty actually.Charlie had already participated in a tossing on Friday at the office. (photo above)  Glad I didn’t have to clean up after that one.


On Sunday after church we were off to Little India.  Thaipusam, a Hindu religious festival, was underway and we wanted to watch the procession.   The participants, or devotees, pierce their tongues and checks and attach large decorative contraptions, kavadis (burdens), to their bodies with spikes and hooks.  Their families travel beside them along the route from one temple to another. 
Then we hailed a cab and set off for home.  That’s one of the things I like most about Singapore.  Being a not-so-intrepid traveler, it’s nice to venture out a few kilometers from home and experience another world, and still return to my own bed before sunset.

School is in session

It may be the lunar year of the ox, but it feels more like the year of loss. Things are being lost right and left – jobs, pension funds, homes, hope. Amidst the chaos is there anything to be gained? Maybe some perspective.

1. A house is not a home. Houses are flipped, used like ATM machines to withdraw equity that never gets returned, decorated for quick resale to attract the highest bidder. Homes are nurtured, cared for as a member of the family, touched up here and there now and then, but loved for the imperfections because of the memories they preserve. Contrary to pre-credit-crisis beliefs, houses do depreciate. Homes never lose their value.

2. The three words “get rich quick” are typically followed by a fourth word. “Scheme.” There is a reason for this.

3. Honesty. Integrity. Accountability. These aren’t marketing buzzwords. They’re the foundations of civilization that keep chaos in check.

Experience can be a cruel teacher. But her lessons are not soon forgotten. May we be diligent students able to put our learning to good use.

A Poem, a Prayer and a Promise

God speaks to each of us as he makes us,
then walks with us silent out of the night.

These are the words we dimly hear:

You, sent out beyond your recall,
go to the limits of your longing.
Embody me.

Flare up like flame
and make big shadows I can move in.

Let everything happen to you; beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.
Don't let yourself lose me.

Nearby is the country they call life.
You will know it by its seriousness.

Give me your hand.

-Rainer Maria Rilke

A Sumptuous Feast

Thomas Jefferson said “I cannot live without books; but fewer will suffice where amusement, and not use, is the only future object.” Sharing that sentiment, my annual reading list is typically loaded more heavily with non-fiction and then balanced with fiction that a) expands my understanding of other cultures or historical events; b) makes me laugh; or c) helps me escape.

As you think about the books you’ll read this year, think about what you want to get from them. Do you want to become more rounded? Pick books outside your area of expertise. Or do you want to become more of a specialist in a chosen area? If you read just two books on that subject, you’ll be way ahead of most of your colleagues.

Whatever field you spend your days in, it’s good to occasionally pick something from a totally unrelated area. Read and enjoy – let your brain make connections and synthesize the new information. This can be amazingly productive for your problem-solving skills. Last year, one of my most challenging reads was a neuroscience textbook. I committed to a chapter per week – it took me more than half the year to finish, and it was worth the effort.

Books are my food. Non-fiction reads are my three squares that sustain me. The fiction is everything else. Some are warm, gooey brownies – totally decadent – Jefferson would probably not approve at all (e.g. Bookends and Careless in Red). Some are a cup of hot tea and a biscuit on a rainy day (all of Alexander McCall Smith’s little gems). Some are exotic dishes – foreign to my tastes perhaps, but worth tasting (e.g. The Incredible life of Oscar Wao). Some are a bowl of popcorn – gobbled down quickly, sad to reach the bottom of the bowl (e.g. White Tiger, Peony in Love, and Then We Came to the End). All of them nourished me in some way. May their authors be blessed.


Here’s what I consumed in 2008 – the 2009 menu is currently in development. Recommendations welcome.

Nonfiction

Christian Perspectives on Politics by J. Philip Wogaman
What Now? by Ann Patchett
The Everlasting Man by G.K. Chesterton
Healing for a Broken World: Christian Perspectives on Public Policy by Steve Monsma
The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream by Barack Obama
God Makes Sense - Even When Life Doesn't by Gordon Wong
God Why? Habakkuk’s Struggle with Faith in a World out of Control by Gordon Wong
Faithful to the End: The Message of Daniel for Life in the Real World by Gordon Wong
The Daring Book for Girls by Andrea Buchanan and Miriam Peskowitz
Mother of the Bride
Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes by Thomas Cathcart and Daniel Klein
The Language of God: A Scientist Presents Evidence for Belief by Francis Collins
Head and Heart: American Christianities by Gary Wills
The Universe in a Single Atom by Dalai Lama
Meaning of Truth by William James
Do You Believe?: Conversations on God and Religion by Antonio Monda
The Will to Believe by William James
The Spiritual Brain by Mario Beauregard and Denyse O'Leary
The Gospels and Epistles of John by Raymond Brown
Psychology of Executive Coaching by Bruce Peltier
The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning
Neuroscience - Exploring the Brain by Mark Bear, Barry Connors, Michael Paradiso
History of the World Christian Movement: Earliest Christianity to 1453 by Dale Irvin and Scott Sunquist

Fiction

Borrowed Time by Robert Goddard
Sight Unseen by Robert Goddard
Peony in Love by Lisa See
Unaccustomed Earth by Jhumpa Lahiri
A Quiet Belief in Angels by R.J. Ellory
Bookends by Jane Green
The Irresistible Inheritance of Wilberforce by Paul Torday
Careless in Red by Elizabeth George
Found Wanting by Robert Goddard
In the Company of Cheerful Ladies by Alexander McCall Smith (AMS)
Blue Shoes and Happiness by AMS
The Good Husband of Zebra Drive by AMS
The Right Attitude to Rain by AMS
Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
The Valkyries by Paul Coelho
The Story of Edgar Sawtelle by David Wroblewski
White Tiger by Aravind Adiga
And Then We Came to the End by Joshua Ferris
The Shack by Wm. Paul Young
The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz