Winging it

Last night at dinner at the American Club, there were two men sitting at a table behind Charlie and me, one of whom had a vocabulary comprised mostly of the f-bomb. And he didn’t speak in mild tones. At one point, I was tempted to go to the library, fetch a dictionary, and present it to him. “Sir, there are a variety of adjectives in here. Have a go at learning some new words to define your world.”

Then I started thinking – what if the words we say created a tangible aura around us? What would mine look and smell like? Yikes…maybe I don’t want to know.

Words, written or verbal, are vital to our existence. They are how we build relationships, get work done, create our world. But I know I often use them recklessly and unconsciously.

My friend, L., and I were talking yesterday about the common stereotypes in organizations about various departments – legal, H.R., finance, marketing. I realized how debilitating these preconceptions can be to team spirit – and, even when we think we’re encouraging teamwork, how easily innuendo can undermine unity. An accountant walks into the conference room and someone says “Ah, the bean counters are here.” Or comments are made like “the folks from legal are sure to slow us down.” Or “those marketing guys don’t have a clue about who really does the work around here.” These little digs, often disguised as humor, are like poisonous darts aimed right at the heart of the team.

Another word abuse to watch out for is the use of the term “girl” for almost any female co-worker. Would you call a male co-worker a “boy”? “Who’s that boy in engineering on the first floor?” I don’t think so, unless you are truly employing child labor. So what term is appropriate? I personally like “colleague”. It’s gender-neutral, professional, and respectful. Take it out for a test spin.

In the book of Samuel, the elder Eli mentors the young boy Samuel, instructing him to listen to God when he calls. Samuel does, and we are told that “the Lord was with Samuel as he grew up, and he let none of his words fall to the ground.” (I Samuel 3:19) When Samuel spoke, his words were true, purposeful, and sound.

F-bombs drop loudly, and bring no lasting return to the speaker nor reward to the hearer. But good words – words of integrity, honesty, and generosity – these words soar.

May your words have wings.

A careless word may kindle strife,
A cruel word may wreck a life,
A timely word may lessen stress,
A loving word may heal and bless.
-- Author Unknown

It takes a village

We set our alarm a little earlier so we could enjoy the hotel buffet a bit longer before our trek to two villages, first on land, then on water. Vy and our driver were waiting – with a 4-wheel drive. Our first stop was a rough ride down a dirt road to a small village. The town center was bustling with commerce. From there, we traveled by oxcart, or as Vy says - “Cambodian BMW” - further into the village where we visited a school.

Cambodia was colonized by the French, but gained independence in the 1950s under the rule of a prince who was eventually replaced by a democratic government. In 1975, the country was seized by the Khmer Rouge, a radical group with a vision of creating a perfect agrarian society with no Western influence. Before they were overthrown by the Vietnamese, the Khmer Rouge under the leadership of Pol Pot, killed one-fourth of the country’s population, almost 2 million people. The trial of one of the leaders is currently underway right now so check out CNN for more information. Also, the book “First They Killed My Father” by Loung Ung is a heart-wrenching story of one family’s experience. Amazingly, the Cambodian people are beautiful, generous, and welcoming – in spite of the horrors of their recent past. Or perhaps because of it. They seem to take special joy in simple things – food preparation, friendship, children, nature.

After a brief rest back at the hotel, we set off for the floating village. Many of the homes in Cambodia are elevated to accommodate rising waters during rainy season, but the floating village takes it one step further. It’s floating 24/7/365 – including the stores, schools, dogs, gas stations, even a pig farm.

Now for some shopping. What would we take home to remember this lovely country? The Khmer Rouge had been especially hostile to educated people, artists, doctors – urbanized people. Cambodian culture lost many of its teachers and artists during the genocide. Artisans Angkor is a special school that was established to train students in traditional arts, such as silk weaving and painting, lacquer, and stone carving. We had a short tour of the school and then visited the gift shop where we picked up a variety of items. After that, it was a stop at S. Khey Art Gallery where Kate purchased “Happy Monks.”

Then it was back to the hotel around 5 p.m. A very long day, we were hot and tired, but not too weary for a visit to the pool and a chat with Bun Von. We met another American couple there and shared tales of our adventures as the sun set on our last night in Cambodia. Back to Singapore tomorrow, but we hope our future holds a return to Siem Reap.

Village People