A for Anxiety

As the first weekend of 2013 rolls around, I must admit (and Charlie will confirm) that I have been a crank since getting back to Singapore.  He might say that’s an understatement.  I’ve been edgy, irritable, almost itchy, like there’s something under my skin fighting to get out.  Yes, I have screamed aloud more than once.

I’ve decided it’s beginnings that rattle me.  Endings are easier – there’s something natural about conclusions – all good things must end is conventional wisdom, right? And in endings, the path is more clearly defined.  Beginnings are another matter.  So many possibilities, opportunities, choices.  It’s easy around about September or October to say – hey, next year, I’ll jump right on that.  January gleams safely in the distance, a fresh start glowing with great promise.  And then the New Year arrives, all those resolutions come home to roost and the coop gets pretty chaotic. 

So, in honor of Stella who is obsessed with the alphabet, the first week of 2013 is being sponsored by A for anxiety.  Kierkegaard says that anxiety is the dizziness of freedom. What I’m feeling then is just part of being human.  I’m free to choose – that’s the good news and the bad news.  It’s up to me.  It’s up to you.

What to do with this beginning.